Skip to main content

Don't Give Up In Your Custody Battle!

I've seen it happen multiple times. A parent is 6 months into a divorce proceeding and is ready to give up and give in. "Let her have what she wants. I'm fine with less custody." Right now, you may be. In a year, you'll probably want more. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn't just give in to a custody demand.

1. It's Very Hard to Change Custody After A Divorce is Finalized.

Right now, you're somewhere in the proceedings to finalize a custody or divorce. You've likely spent a lot of time, emotions and money on this matter and you're ready to give up and give in. What seemed like a terrible "no way" kind of offer from your spouse is now looking like an easy road out.
But if you say yes to that minimum parent time custody agreement, or yes to that sole legal custody demand, you're probably going to regret it in a year. And when you do regret it, you're going to want to change it. Only you're going to need a good reason for changing it, some kind of substantial change in circumstances. And it's going to cost you more money, either through a custody evaluation or through a trial or both.

2. You've Come So Far Already

Unless you've been sitting around doing nothing, you've likely gone to temporary orders already or are approaching them. You may have already attempted mediation without success. You've invested these resources, and to give in now would be a waste of all that time and money.
Think about it, you've presumably spent your resources up to this point to actually win something. What good will those resources have accomplished if you just give in to your spouse's demands? Hold on and keep your eye on the prize. Trust me when I say that the parent time you're hoping for is definitely worth it in the long run.

3. Your Children Are Worth the Sacrifice

If you're considering giving up possible parent time with your children simply to get over the stress of this entire ordeal, you're not alone. Many people waffle on the same question. I haven't met a person who hasn't regretted their custody decisions when they failed to pursue more parent time. This is because they have grown frustrated at the lack of time they have with their child, or the lack of a relationship.
Every parent I've worked with has found value in raising their children and being a part of their lives. You may not care now, but you'll care later. The time and money you're spending now could lead to a better tomorrow.

Final Thoughts

Now I'm not saying that there aren't times where it's wise to throw in the towel. I've written on that subject before and will likely do so in the future. Don't give in on minimum or less than minimum time though. You're not going to get worse than that at trial, and will likely get more.
If you're doing this on your own, make sure you do your homework. If not, make sure you have a good support system in place and an attorney at your side that you trust.


Popular posts from this blog

5 Tips When Charged With a Misdemeanor

If you were recently charged with a misdemeanor, a court date is not far behind. Speaking in court is intimidating, and you may do something you regret. These tips are designed to put you on the right path to help you get the best deal possible. People have come to me in the past and told me that they wished they had known these things before they plead guilty to their misdemeanor. Before the next court date, consider these tips to help you. 1. Consider Not Pleading Guilty When you first go to court, it's called an arraignment. You will have an opportunity to plead guilty at that hearing to terms set by a judge or a prosecutor. You don't need to plead guilty. If you plead not guilty, the only thing that will happen is that they will set a pre-trial conference. This will give you time to either hire an attorney or further consider your options. It may also get you a better deal. In Utah, speeding tickets are misdemeanors. When you show up for court, you will be asked to plead …

How to Set Aside a Decree

You can set aside your divorce or custody decree shortly after its signed. This process is complicated, and you should consider speaking to an attorney. For your personal information, however, the following information can help you decide if you need to set aside your decree. There is a Typo or Some other Error in the Decree If you receive your decree and there is a typo or error in the document, you may have grounds to have the decree set aside. If a crucial part of your decree is missing, or says something different than you had agreed, you can have the court make a correction through motion. I Made a Mistake or Found Something Out Too Late A mistake in judgment may be enough to set aside your decree. However, this does not guarantee success, and your mistake will need to be a significant one. Feeling bad about your decision is not enough. If you have more questions, you should speak to an attorney about your situation. If you are surprised by some new fact after your decree was sign…

How to Modify Your Divorce Decree

If there has been a substantial change in circumstances, you may have a case for decree modification.  This process can be a big waste of resources and time if you don't plan carefully. You may also want to consider whether you can solve the problem through mediation. Decree Modification Requires a Substantial Change in Circumstances You must show that there is a substantial change in circumstances. This is perhaps the most important preliminary question to consider. If your divorce decree is only a few months old, it is unlikely that the court will find there was a substantial change in circumstances. Your case will be much more difficult to prove the sooner you bring it after your divorce is finalized. There may be a situation, however, in which a substantial change in circumstances has occurred, even though a small amount of time has passed. If you are in doubt, you should consult with us or another attorney to determine the strength of a decree modification. Here are some exam…